Well Joshie I am sure you saw it was a busy past two weeks for us.  Big sister is starting school tomorrow so we packed in as many activities as we could it seems like.  This past weekend we went to Donner Lake with 3 other families.  This trip has become an annual get together now; 4 years running.  I enjoy spending time with my college friends but with all the kids between us (10) I just get plane tired out.  I also remember the 2nd year we went to the Lake, you had just gone to heaven.  Often I would wander off by myself not wanting any contact with anyone...I still blamed myself for not trying hard enough.  I had dark thoughts that weekend but each time I moved deeper into the darkness big sister came to to my side.   I have said this before but I know you had a hand with the coincidence.  Joshie, it was my responsibility to keep you safe; I pray you know I did my best.  Now, I pray that you do what you can to keep little brother, big sister and mommy safe. 

I miss you,

Daddy